As a raging inferno consumes the Gloomy Gallows Orphange, brave fireman rescue the tiny
orphans. "Cough-cough!" "We are so tiny and poor!" "Wait! One tiny orphan is still trapped
"Help! My tiny crutches are caught in the gruel dispenser!"
"Stand back folks- the fire rages too fiercely! Nothing can be done!" "NONSENSE! There's
nothing money can't solve!"
"Hold fast to my expensive and golden flame proof claw machine, youngster!"
"AHHHHH" SCOOP DROP "AHHHHHHHHHH" CATCH
"You SAVED me Mr...?"
"Bravo!" Hurray!" RICHMAN
Later... "Rest now, young Timmy, beneath the garbage blanklets to which you are accustomed.
"Mr. Richman, will you tell me a bedtime story?" "But of course my small poorling."
Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Goldilocks...
One day, Goldilocks broke into the three bear's house, and there, on the table, were three
bowls of gold. "Oooooo."
The first bowl.... didn't have enough gold. "Hmmm."
The second bowl... also didn't have enough gold. "Hmph!"
The third bowl... had more gold than the first two but it still wasn't enough. "Grrrrr."
So she took all three bowls and invested them.... "I'll take 2,000,000 shares please."
Then she fell asleep... "ZZZZZZZZZ" And when she awoke... "YAAWN"
She was rich! (STOCK'S VALUE SKY ROCKETS!)
And she took the gold and melted it down, and plated her locks with it...
And it was so heavy, it weighed her down, and she had to walk with a golden cane. Because
wealth is a burden.
But the bears she robbed were low-income bears who lived beyond their means,
low-income bears who lived beyond their means, and it was okay that she stole from them...
Because she was a job creator, and she gave each bear a new job...
"Go forth to the mines!"
And she paid them half a penny a day. Minus half a penny for lunch.
And they all lived happily ever after. "ZZZZZZZZ"