T'was the night before Christmas at Richly manor...
Not a creature was stirring... but then came a clamor! Jingle Jangle
"What jangling ghoul goes there?"
"IT IS I - BENJAMIN FRANKLIN" Clink Clink
"But it can't be! you're..."
"Champion of democracy? Pioneer of electricity? Deceased?"
"No - you're on the 100 dollar bill."
"INDEED, I AM! AND IF YOU EVER WANT TO BE ON THE DOLLAR THEN
YOU'LL HEED MY WORDS!"
"Tonight you shall be haunted by the Three Ghosts of Capitalism."
"Three ghosts you say? Tell me their names so I may pay for them to leave me be!"
"No Pubis, it is time you learn what it means to be a rich man on Christmas."
"TA TA!" POOF
"Hm, I must have eaten too much Christmas pudding. Sleep wealthy, Billfold."
"GREAT GOLDS OF THE PHARAOHS!"
"INDEED, IT IS I - THE GHOST OF CAPITALISM PAST!
"WHY DO YOU HAUNT ME OH SPIRIT OF OLDEN WEALTH!?"
"Stroke my golden scepter and I shall show you!"
"Where are we? What is this place?" "The past Pubis."
"Hey, that's me!" Top of the morning Clifford, Wilbertson."
"Hi Pubis. Can we borrow a dollar for lunch?"
"Tis the season for charity and kindess!" "Thanks Pubis! You're the best!"
"Do you remember when you had friends, Pubis?"
"What a fool I was to give away that dollar!?"
"Let us look upon a less charitable day then!"
"Momma! Pappa! I am home! Glorious news! I've received another A in
my humanities class! Momma? Poppa?"
"Maid Marian, have you seen Momma and Pappa?" "They're on vacation
at their private island. Didn't they tell you?"
"I can bear no more spirit! To look upon a time when I had yet to amass my fortune!
It is too painful! Take me away!"
"Hm. What a peculiar and meaningless dream."