"BREAKING NEWS: Just who is the mysterious "Richman?" Today we interview survivors of
this vigilante's expensive brand of justice. RICH MAN? WEALTHY OR RICH?"
24/7 WGNBNBN NEWS
"There I was trying to rob some lady, and then that rich bastard showered my face with
priceless gems! They all got away."
"I was just mindin' my own bidniz, shopliftin' and peepin' Tomin', when all-a-da sudden I see dat big
green money cape swoopzin' up in my view. Den, all my shopliftin' goods wad replaced wid phat
stackz of green eggs n' cheeze!"
"One second I was picking a pocket, the next, that Rich-Guy slapped a bag of gold in my lap
and broke both my legs! I'd sue him but now I got these cool gold peg legs!"
"I can't TAKE IT anymore Barbara! This news is on 24 hours a day and it's non-stop jabbering
nonsense!" "Then turn it off Murray." RICHMAN RICHMAN RICHMAN RICHMAN
"OH I'LL TURN IT OFF ALRIGHT."
Later at WGNBNBN studios. "And in other news today footage was discovered on the internet of
adorable kitties. We've got our Kitty Corespondent Mr. Boopers to tell us all about it." "Meow."
"HEY sir, you can't just barge in here-" WE GOT NEWS BABY, NEWS BABY, NEWS
24/7 "Our News Just Don't Stop" "NOBODY MOVE!" "My god, he's got a bomb! Cut to the
kitten footage now!" ZOOP
"Don't you touch that dial!" THIS JUST IN: MAD BOMBER UP IN HERE!!!
What in the name of news do you want? WGNBNBN
"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT! I want to live in a world where news isn't just crapped
out 24 hours a day!" 24/7 NEWS
"News shouldn't be influenced by ratings and the need to sensationalize every last morsel of
information with the blood, filth, and money!" UP NEXT... MONEY MURDERZ
RATINGS ROCKET AS MAD BOMBER MAKES DEMANDS
"This sounds like a job for Richman!" CRASH "It's Richman!" "We're saved!"
"Stop right there! WE MUST KEEP MONEY OUT OF THE MEDIA!!"
TONIGHT'S NEWS IS SPONSERED BY VISAP
Hmm, Looks like a job for money!
DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR WHAT I SAID? DO YOU NOT SEE ME ABOUT TO BLOW
US ALL UP?!
"What I see is a man on the brink... of making a lot of money."
"And in other news today a terrorist plot was foiled by Richman, who paid Murray Fitzgerlad 2
billion dollars to take over WGNBNBN news network. RICHMAN SAVES NEWS STATION!
FHNN Fancy Hats News Network "We're fancy 24/7"
Murray plans to turn the network into a 6-hour-a-day non-commercial new channel that takes
its time to deliver the news in a thought provoking manner which will undoubtedly fail
to gain anyone's interest. And now for our top story:
ADORABLE KITTENS! FHNN