The Rise of Granola Greengrass
Downtown, a peaceful protest fills the sidewalks. MORE PEACE! GIVE US PEACE OR
GIVE US PEACEFULNESS. WE PROTEST NON-PEACE!
"Hippies, socialists, free thinkers, gather around. A new evil lurks among us..."
"AND THAT EVIL'S NAME... IS RICHMAN!" Time$ Magazine Rich Man of the year: Richman
SUPER RICH SUPER HERO USES FUNDS TO FIGHT CRIME!
"This so called hero is a false prophet! He worships a terrible lie, a lie that has built towers of gold
for the few on the backs of the many..."
"I'm talking about money my friends." BIG BOOTY BANK tm "We's in yo' face!" VISAP
"Read the small print and you'll see, money is not only a symbol of evil, it is a symbol, period."
1 Dollar Bill* *Surgeon General's Warning: This is a symbol, period.
"You can't EAT money!"
"You can't WEAR money!"
"The sooner we shake ourselves of this terrible disease, the sooner we can move forward."
Money I.V. "Sorry son, you're rich."
"Today, I Granola Greengrass, forge a new path of hope. Today I have a plan..."
"TO STOP RICHMAN."
Meanwhile in the Rich-Jet... "It appears trouble is brewing down below, Billfold."
"According to the money-monitor, sidewalk traffic is being congested to criminal levels."
WARNING: Peaceful Protest Unprofitable
"Look! Up in the sky! It's a gold bird!" "No, That's a false prophet!" "NO, THAT'S-"
RICHMAN "Did I hear someone say profit?" Ahhh AHH Snap Crush
"Damn you Richman! You're destroying my peaceful protest!" "Sounds like nothing money
can't fix!"
"NO RICHMAN, YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON PEACE!"
"Hm, true. Peace must be purchased, not appraised."
"You're a fool Richman- and I have the ultimate super weapon you can't stop!"
"(GASP) You mean... you have more money than me?!?!"
"No Richman... I have something better."
"HAHA, IMPOSSIBLE. NOTHING'S BETTER THAN MORE MONEY."
"I have... BARTER."
"What the- DEVIL ARE YOU?"
"My name is Granola Greengrass, and I'm going to make the world trade directly with one
another, thereby cutting you out of existence."
Now come my followers, come to my garden where I will trade you fresh fruit and vegetables for
your services! Stop! You can't! It's not financially profitable!
"Exactly!"
"See ya!"
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