"T'was once again quiet in Richly Manor as Pubis Richly dreamt of Christmas glamor."
"But across the bed, a shadow fell, and Pubis awoke with a manly yell."
"EEEEEEEEEEEEE"
"Specters, no more!"
"The Ghost of Capitalism Future Presents: The life and death of RICHMAN"
Jumbovision TV
"Tonight on the History Channel, we take a break from our regular reality TV
programing to bring you the history of Richman."
"When he first appeared on the scene, this rich vigilante righted the wrongs
of the word with his amazing powers." "Take this four million dollars and leave
that bank monkey alone you thief!"
"It seemed as if there was no problem Richman couldn't solve." "We're gonna scam
'em till they're blind and sad!" Stock Report "Not so fast you Wall Street crooks!
Take this bag of gems and leave the people be!" "We're rich!"
"But as Richman's powers grew, so did crime." "How did you make your first million?"
"I was about to burn down a hospital, but then Richman paid me NOT to do it!"
"Really?! I got to do that!"
"People everywhere started committing more and more crimes, hoping Richman
would pay to stop them." "This is a stick up!" "No it's not!" Pew Pew
"Instead of stopping crime, crime only grew..." "Hand over that cash!"
"Take that!" Blam "I'm poor!" Blam Blam KABOOM
"Until Richman's crime stopping became the center of the world's economy."
"Get out there and commit some crimes Walter so Richaman will give us some money!"
"NEWS NEWS NO JOBS!"
"Soon the entire world was at war with itself, competing for Richman's wealth." UNITED
NATIONS. "Well nuke everyone unless we get 10 billion Richman dollars!" "Nukes?
We'll poison all the drinking water!" "I'll shoot this cute hamster unless I get the dough!"
"The only way for Richman to deal with the crisis was to unleash a massive money assult on
the world." "BOMBS AWAY!" KABOOM!
"But Richman's money assault only caused mass inflation. And money itself
nearly lost all its value. "How much for one loaf of bread?" "One million dollars please.
"Okay." STALE BREAD
"So to deal with the inflation crisis, Richman built money-stealing machines, so that
the dollar might still hold some value." "MUST DESTROY WEALTH." "GIVE US YOUR
MONEY OR DIE." Zaaaow AHH NOOO
"But the money machines were too strong, and the world was plunged into a new a of darkness...
a war against the machines." "Fight back - we must defend what little wealth we have left!"
"Finally in his old age, Richman looked out the window at what he had created, and his heart
grew half a size that day." "My gold, what have I done?"
"In an effort to right his wrongs, Richman modified one of his machines and sent it back in
time to destroy his own fortune." "May the grace of gold be with you."
"But it was too late, for shortly after, Richman died alone, and rich." R.I.P. RICHMAN
HE WAS ALONE AND RICH
THE END
"What a thoroughly entertaining motion picture!"
"ZIP"
"I HAVE BEEN SENT BACK IN TIME TO DESTROY YOUR WEALTH!"
"GOOD GOLD!"
"MUST DESTROY RICH MAN"
"Not so fast money machine. I've learned something tonight!"
"That in order to prevent my wealth from harming others, I must use my wealth
to avoid the follies of wealth!"
BZZZZ "DOES... NOT...COMPUTE 34#@K84"
KABOOM
"I've learned a lesson this Merry Christmas morn! A less to give only what is needed!"
"A Christmas goose to every orphanage and hospital in town!"
"Here sir, a Christmas goose for you." "I'm a vegan."
"Tis the season to eat a goose, sir."
"I'm a vegan, though."
"FINE THEN! BE A SCROOGE!! GAAAWW!!
"Wait, can I have some money instead?"
